Author: Adam Silvera
Publisher: Soho Teen
Format: Hardcover, 294 pages
Published: January 17th 2017
(Click Picture or underlined title to add on Goodreads)
When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies in a drowning accident, his universe implodes. Even though Theo had moved to California for college and started seeing Jackson, Griffin never doubted Theo would come back to him when the time was right. But now, the future he’s been imagining for himself has gone far off course.
To make things worse, the only person who truly understands his heartache is Jackson. But no matter how much they open up to each other, Griffin’s downward spiral continues. He’s losing himself in his obsessive compulsions and destructive choices, and the secrets he’s been keeping are tearing him apart.
If Griffin is ever to rebuild his future, he must first confront his history, every last heartbreaking piece in the puzzle of his life.
“I feel like a rock being skipped through the ocean—pain, relief, pain again, relief again, eventually destined to sink.” – Griffin
I feel like the above quote describes this book perfectly. It’s an oscillation between pain and relief; happiness and sadness, as is usually the case when you’re grieving the loss someone you love. Happy memories of that person come unbidden and with it comes an unbearable ache because you know you’ll never have those moments again, all you can do is relive them in your memories. I think Adam conveyed this feeling so perfectly through this book, from cover to content. If you look at the book cover you might notice a contrast between lighter blue and darker blue as well as the moon and the sun. I believe this is a depiction of the polarizing emotions one goes through while grieving. (Now I’m rambling about the cover *sigh* ignore me, I’m just overly in love with this book).
The book centers around Griffin and chapters alternate between past- when Theo was alive and dating Griffin, and the present- where we know the two have broken up and Theo has died.
- I am obsessed with these characters. We have four main characters, the two others are Wade (Griffin and Theo’s buddy) and Jackson (who was Theo’s recent boyfriend). The relationship between these four is so complex that I’m not even gonna get into it, but I can say that it was the best thing about this book. Theo has passed away when this book starts off but you’ll fall in love with him because you’ll see more of him through Griffin’s eyes.
- The flashbacks and “history” chapters are EVERYTHING. The snippets we get from Griffin’s past when he was dating Theo were so cute my heart almost burst a thousand times. We also get glimpses of Griffin, Theo and Wade as three very close friends. Their friendship was heart-warming. Although, pain arises after they break up and Theo starts dating Jackson.
- Heartbreak and soul-crushingness awaits in “present” chapters. Griffin is now dealing with the loss of Theo all the while having to confront Jackson and having to deal with his fall out with Wade. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t cry while reading this book, I did tear up but I expected to full-on wail. I know 90% of readers have lol.
- OCD rep. Griffin has OCD. He has a lot of compulsive tendencies that make him struggle a lot and Adam incorporated them in a way that isn’t just quirkiness from the character’s part. I personally don’t have this disorder but I felt like it was portrayed so vividly. Compared to all other books I’ve read with OCD characters, this one was done significantly well and I applaud Adam for that.
I don’t know what to say besides urging you to READ THIS BOOK! The way the story unfolds, the characters, the pain and all the happy memories…it was a roller-coaster of emotions and I loved every second, even when it destroyed me. I want to say more about the ending because it was done so well and I wanted so much more of the characters. I want to give you an idea of what to expect but I won’t because you should get into this blind- it’s more intense that way. I think I might do a Spoilery gushing post for this soon!
How many of you have pledged to read ALL Adam Silvera books? *raises both arms and both legs* Also have you seen the premise of his upcoming book??? I think I might die of excitment. I NEED that book in my life!! Let me know your thoughts below. If you’ve read the book, join me in crying and squealing.
Find Author: http://www.adamsilvera.com